What Poppy Did

You know you're interested.

How about some FaceTime?

I try (emphasis on the word 'try') to avoid being too ranty, but I am almost frothing at the mouth with anger after seeing the FaceTime promo vid on the Apple website. 

 
For those who are unfamiliar, FaceTime is the new video calling feature on the soon to be released iPhone 4. No, it's not revolutionary. No, Apple are not the first people to introduce video calling. But hey, let's let them market it as if it is.
 
I'm looking forward to getting my iPhone 4, but regardless of how it's promoted I really don't like the idea of FaceTime. As hard as it may be to believe from my incessant tweeting/WIWTing, I'm actually pretty private. I don't like people knowing where I am and have never really seen the appeal of Foursquare and the like for this very reason. I'm very suspicious about what people know about me. I'm not too far off thinking Russian spies live in my mirror. I pretend trips to the shop are missions from MI5. I'm a complete loser and very paranoid.
 
When I'm on Skype, it really annoys me when people ask me to put on the webcam. I don't want to see the people I'm speaking to or, to be more accurate, I don't want them to see me. If I'm working from home then the chances are I'm in my pyjamas looking like a complete trashbag. Why does anyone need to see that? A least using webcam on Skype doesn't have to be reciprocal, being able to view without having to be viewed is a definite plus. If someone wants to show me their new shirt or kitten or baby or whatever then they can do so without having to be offended by my bed hair. On FaceTime, video calls have to be reciprocal.
 
Skype is (nicely) limited by the fact that you're unlikely to be using it if you're not at your machine somewhere fairly mundane, but the idea of someone being able to say to me at any time "let's see where you are" makes me gag. 
 
People need their privacy.
 
I can't even begin to think of the strain this will put on relationships. I can just imagine the paranoid partners doing a "So you're working late are you? Huh? HUH?!? PROVE YOU'RE NOT SLEEPING WITH YOUR COLLEAGUE RIGHT NOW BY TURNING ON FACETIME RIGHT NOW AND GIVING ME A 360 DEGREE VIEW OF WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW. RIGHT NOW!" Ugh. I understand the notion of "if you've got nothing to hide then you have nothing to fear" but come on. We've all said we're on our way home when actually we're having a cheeky extra gin. (Haven't we?) The idea that someone could ask me to prove where I am at any given moment makes me feel very uncomfortable. Maybe that's just me being Poppy Paranoid, there's a reason that's a nickname of mine, but I do genuinely worry about how FaceTime can be exploited by controlling partners in abusive relationships.
 
Of course, you don't have to answer an incoming FaceTime request if you don't want to. But then you have to explain why you don't want to FaceTime, which isn't exactly ideal. What if you call in sick to work and during the call your boss asks to take a look at you on FaceTime? I guess most bosses wouldn't be that jerkish, but I don't like thinking that they *could* ask.
 
So setting aside my feelings on FaceTime being a somewhat effed up feature to begin with, let's see how Apple are marketing it and whether they can make me come around and think it's aces.
 
Cue Apple's FaceTime promo vid.
 
 
Ahhh now I get it. It's awesome because when I'm having my first ultrasound scan, the father of my unborn child can just stay at home and watch via FaceTime! Yay! And then when our baby is older, he can watch me play with it via FaceTime rather than actually bothering to be there! Double yay! And of course when I'm not being a Mum, I can show my girlfriends my latest jeans via FaceTime. Triple yay! SHOPPING AND BABIES ARE ALL THAT I CARE ABOUT SO THIS FEATURE WILL CHANGE MY LIFE. YAAAAAAAY!
 
Seriously, how is this not patronising? Or am I overreacting? It's very possible that I am. I'm very tired. But I just find the notion of these absent men connecting with their families via a fucking phone really annoying. Heaven forbid a woman might have been using FaceTime to aid a conference call. Or to do anything other than be a Mum/go shopping.
 
I appreciate that parents can't always be with their children and that FaceTime can be a nice compromise for the parent who can't see their child face to face, but I don't like the way Apple have positioned it. Why couldn't the Mum have been checking in with the Dad who has the kids? Couldn't the Mum be in the hotel? I really hate this kind of marketing, essentially playing on the emotions of parents who know they don't see enough of their families. It's not dissimilar to the god awful BT adverts were the little girl can never get hold of her dad at work but, of course, if the Dad changes BT packages they'll be a happy smiley family again.
 
FaceTime will be fully banned in my relationships. Hopefully that way I can look a mess in private, have an extra gin in private and have my man present when I'm giving birth as opposed to having him watch it on FaceTime whilst down the pub.
 
I will be very interested to see the take up on this feature, I think there'll be a lot of unhappy boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives, bosses, employees, teenagers and parents. But hey. Maybe we'll all love it and embrace it. Who knows :)
 
I'll repeat what I said earlier though, people need their privacy.
 
 
UPDATE: Having re-watched Apple's promo vid I realise that the 'absent father' in the ultrasound scene is actually a military man who obviously can't be with his lady, as opposed to a lazy jackass as I imply above. So I can see in this instance where FaceTime would be an amazing feature BUT this doesn't change the fact that I hate how Apple are marketing it. Women can do things other than rear children and shop for jeans and, in my humble opinion, FaceTime is not a substitute for actually being with your family. More to the point, I see its main use being as a spying tool rather than for anything loveydovey and family related. That or phone sex, obviously.

 

Comments [7]

I asked for feedback on my ideas...and I got it!

Just under a month ago I posted on here and on WIWT that I was looking for feedback on some ideas I had. You may have read it. (If ya did and offered help - thanks!). The post got just under 4000 views and I received well over 100 emails and phone calls, let alone tweets and FB messages, from bloody awesome people who were all happy to lend an ear.

I have to say, it was pretty damn humbling and fantastically flattering.

I don't know what I was expecting to achieve by posting what I did but I certainly never expected to be quite so inundated with messages of 'good luck' and 'how can I help?' - especially from so many people who I admire the work of and who I know are extremely busy with their own projects. I was inundated with responses and I'm eternally grateful for everyone's encouragement and kindness.

Thank you <3

Whenever you post something publicly, you open yourself up for critique. I've been pratting about online for long enough to realise this and I don't take anything too personally. But as much as I was surprised by the overwhelming positive response I received, I was also pretty surprised by the number of people who thought that my asking for feedback from multiple people was a doomed idea from the get go.

I had a number of emails 'warning me' that my plan to spend a week bouncing ideas off of a range of people would leave me a confuddled mess (well ya know, more of a confuddled mess than usual). And then I had others suggesting I spent 15 minutes with one 'guru' and that would be all the feedback I'd need. Seriously internet, have we not moved past this 'guru' nonsense yet? And then others suggested I didn't tell my ideas to anyone or at least not without an NDA. Maybe I'm too trusting, but I'd feel like a bit of a douchebag if I made someone sign an NDA before I chatted concepts with them over a Starbucks. If I'd invented something groundbreaking then fine, but I have the faith that it's my execution that will make these ideas work (or fail) and therefore I wasn't about to start getting precious with saying my ideas out loud. Anyway, an NDA is pretty meaningless if you don't have the dollar to actually fight it in court.

So.

I was pretty convinced that speaking to lots of people over the course of a week was in fact a productive thing to do. If there's anything I've learnt from working in startups it's the dangers of assumption, the rolling out of features nobody in the community ever asked for, the 'if we build it they will come' mentality. (Note to self: add Field of Dreams to LOVEFiLM queue). One of my fave t-shirts from those crazy cats at VCWear is this little beauty...

And of course it's bloody true. One person likes your idea? La de da! You may as well start picking out that super yacht right now. Make mine a large one. 

Snarkiness aside, you really do need a range of people's opinions and feedback before you know if your idea has legs. I value my Mother's opinion, but she also thinks Greece's Eurovision entry was the best song she's heard this millennia. I needed advice from people whom I respected (no offence Momma D) and from people who come from a diverse range of professional backgrounds.

So I started replying to the emails I received and before I knew it I had booked myself breakfast meetings thru to dinner meetings for five solid days. I even ended up having one meeting over cheesecake in Manhattan. I met with amazing people. Talented people. Inspiring people. The kinda peoples I wanna be when I grow up. (Again, thank you a zillion times over to those who met with me.) It was a fun week, bloody tiring, but fun. 

But was it productive?

YES!

I am so unspeakably pleased that I conducted the week the way I did, if only just for the great practice it gave me of explaining what my ideas are to new people. Being able to convey your ideas effectively is crucial, so after 30 or so meetings I think it's safe to say that I have that pretty nailed now. I was basically pitching rough concepts at the beginning of the week, but as the week went on these were shaping into something much more tangible as I was able to make sense of the advice I was receiving along the way. Yes, I was sick of my own voice by the end of each day (yep that's possible, even for me) but everyone's feedback was so valuable and from such different starting points that it was impossible to get tired of the whole process.

So where am I now?

Four ideas have become three and there is a clear hierarchy in the way the three ideas will be tackled. They're pretty different (a book, a website and a TV show concept) but they have a running theme which appeals to me greatly. 

Do I think this post has rambled on for far too long?

Yes. Yes I do. So I guess you'll have to hear more on the big ideas later :)

If you read to here then you're pretty cool, have a cup of tea and a biscuit and bask in your awesomeness.

And again, thanks for your support :D

xxx

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To rustout or to burnout?

Rustout is the slow death that follows when we stop making the choices that keep life alive. It’s the feeling of numbness that comes from always taking the safe way, never accepting new challenges, continually surrendering to the day-to-day routine. Rustout means we are no longer growing but, at best, are simply maintaining. It implies that we have traded the sensation of life for the security of a paycheck.

Rustout is the opposite of burnout. Burnout is overdoing. Rustout is underbeing. 

~  Richard Leider

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Help me choose a new watch :)

I need a watch. I already have a 'more expensive than a house' watch so I'm not looking for anything expensive, just a day to day watch for when my shitty iPhone has a hissy fit. 

I think these are all lovely, thoughts welcome on which one to go for :)

                 
Click here to download:
Help_me_choose_a_new_watch.zip (270 KB)

Comments [4]

Can. How. Should. Why. Is.

         
Click here to download:
Can._How._Should._Why._Is..zip (129 KB)

Comments [7]

I have ideas. Can you help me?

I am writing this blog post as a call for help. You may have seen me tweeting recently about secret ideas, new domain names and general world domination. The reason for these cryptic hints, as some of you will know, is that I'm leaving full time employment to pursue my own projects. (Yay!)
 
I basically have four ideas that I am equally keen to pursue, but they've been rattling around my mind in a rather unhealthy fashion for far too long. The time has come for me to share my ideas with others, to help me see the potential (or lack of) in each of them.
 
I think there’s something incredibly lovely about saying ideas aloud, especially as people then expect something of you and you look like a bit of an arse if you get lazy and give up.
 
The threat of making a complete tit of myself is an important motivator for me, I don’t mind screwing something up if I’ve given it a go but I am rather distractible (you have no idea how much time I spend picturing my wedding to Dustin Hoffman) and the biggest threat for me in business is not bloody getting on with it. I’ve very publicly said I’m going to give this is a shot now, so you all have permission to give me a hard time about my progress. In fact, I demand that you question my progress if I appear to be going quiet on the business plan front. I don’t want to find in a couple of months time that I can recite the ITV2 schedule off by heart, Ricki Lake is my homegirl but nobody is going to pay me to watch 90’s chat show reruns all day. Or are they? If someone would pay me to do that, then for goodness sake call my ass.
 
I’m rambling somewhat, but the point of this post is to say that if you’re in London during the week commencing 17th of May and you are able to spare half an hour for a chit chat then I’d love to tell you some of my ideas...and more importantly I’d love to hear your feedback on them. I’ve spent far too much time thinking on my own and the Poppy Dinsey echo chamber can quickly confuse a spectacular idea for a rubbishy idea and a craptastic idea for a sublime idea. To cut a long story short, I desperately need some feedback.
 
So! If you’re able to lend me your opinion and wisdom, let’s meet up. I will buy you a drink and, naturally, my handbag is always full of biscuits and cakes.
 
Wanna help me out? Just DM me on Twitter, Facebook me or email me. Not in London but happy to lend an ear? Let’s arrange a call.
 
Thanks in advance. I’ve already been overwhelmed by the support around me.
 
Can I just say ‘YAY!’ one more time? I think so. YAY!

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No ifs or buts, you're coming to Foxy Karaoke on Wednesday lunchtime.

Hey kids,

It's me, that girl you know and love from Twitter...and maybe even real life if you're exceptionally awesome.

This is just a quick post to say that I want you to come and play with me on Wednesday lunchtime (16th Dec) at Selfridges. In fact I don't want you to, I DEMAND that you come and play.

Don't worry, I'm not trying to trick you into coming shopping (though we can hit the shoe department after if you're so inclined). I'm actually inviting you to something pretty special, a lunchtime karaoke session with DJ, TV presenter and general superstar Neil Fox...all in aid of Macmillan Cancer Support. You don't need me to tell you what an amazing charity Macmillan Cancer Support is, their work is just incredible as anybody that's ever had to use their services will tell you.

I refuse to accept that you're doing anything on Wednesday lunchtime that can't be rearranged or canceled so that you can come to Selfridges and have a quick singsong. It's all kicking off at 12.30 and let's face it, you'd probably just be sitting at your desk eating yet another depressing Pret sandwich staring at a computer screen at this time. This is much more fun and supports an incredible cause.

So sneak away for an hour, tell the boss you're gonna be out having fun doing good for a wee while (a concept from the fabulous guys at LeapAnywhere) and come and join in the party.

It's completely free to come along, but what I would ask of you is that you make a donation to Macmillan Cancer Support here as a "thanks for the free karaoke session, keep up the good work!" kindly gesture.

As an added bonus, everyone that donates a fiver or more will be entered into a draw where the lucky winner will be serenaded by Neil Fox himself. And as a further bonus still, the first 100 people to donate £35 or more will get a free one-hour room hire for you and up to 15 buddies at one of the Lucky Voice London bars in 2010. An hour's room hire is worth £75 so it's a bargain AND all the proceeds go to Macmillan. Win win.

You can make a donation and read more about the event, cleverly named Foxy Karaoke, here. I better see yo asses there.

Much love, as always.

Me
xxxxx

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An extra scene for Catcher In The Rye. (Written by me, aged 15)

When I was 15 I read J.D Salinger's Catcher In The Rye. My uncle had told me to read it, my uncle was (still is) my hero and I always did what he told me. I thought it was perfect and quickly labeled it my favourite book of all time.

Because my Uncle lived on the other side of the world, seeing him wasn't exactly easy. I missed him (still miss him) and so to keep in contact and to keep ourselves entertained we'd email each other as various J.D Salinger characters.

Going through a bunch of crazily old emails I found this little extra scene that I wrote for about midway through Catcher. I really, really like it. Holden is a great character and it was fun to write from his perspective.

My main resolution for 2010 is to be as passionate about creative writing as I was when I was a teenager, even if I can recreate just half of the enthusiasm I used to have for writing I'll be a very happy girl indeed.

Anyway, do read it if you like Holden as much as I do. I'm pretty certain that even seven years later I wouldn't change much about it as a piece of writing except for maybe some of the grammar and sentence structure :) 

_________________________________________________

So there I was with what seemed like a whole lifetime to kill. I’d bought a burger and asked for no mayonnaise but the jackasses that work there gave me like a tonne of the stuff; I bet they did on purpose too. Just 'cause they’re spending their lives in a burger bar they think that everyone else should share their misery. So there I was with this burger in my hand, I coulda just scraped the mayo out I guess but by this point I just couldn’t be bothered. I tried to give it to this homeless guy; I could see he’d been eyeing it. But he just yelled at me about how he doesn’t need charity. To be sleeping in a dumpster and not accepting charity showed the guy had a lot of pride, I didn’t know whether to respect him or think he was an idiot. Either way, thinking about it wouldn’t kill the next few hours any faster.


I considered giving old Monica a buzz. She was this girl I used to go around with when I was at Whooton. She killed me. Everything excited her, I mean everything. You’d think she was real dumb to tell you to the truth but she wasn’t. That’s what was funny, she was like a goddam genius but you’d think she was this crazy bimbo, which in a way she was too. 

Anyway, I felt like shooting the bull and I knew Monica would be willing to go "Jesus, Holden. That’s amazing" in all the right places, she’s reliable in that way. In other ways she’s not so reliable, I remember waiting at Central Park in a blizzard for like fifty hours to go to some stupid show at Radio City, which she’d chosen. I’d given her the money and told her to book some tickets up, she’s a lady in that sense, she expects you to pay for EVERYTHING. So she’d booked tickets to see some show, which I wasn’t too crazy about seeing, and I’d seen her buy the tickets and stuff and then she didn’t even show up. So I stood there like a jackass for forever and I couldn’t even go to see the show alone 'cause she had the tickets. I got all riled up to have a go at her the next time I saw her, but the next day she came to my house, all unexpected and all, and she was wearing this really low cut top. I mean seriously low cut, the type that your mother would see and say "What a hussy". She’d worn it on purpose, to win me over. And she did that all right, she had the most amazing cleavage and instead of arguing I ended up necking her all evening.

I was hoping something similar could happen tonight, after I’d charmed her with some crap about how I was captain of the football team or something. I went into a drugstore, found a booth and dialled the number. I can always remember it because its only one digit off this pizza company we use, people are always phoning her house asking for sloppy giuseppes and stuff, it drives her dad crazy I swear.

The phone started ringing, knowing my luck she was probably doing something really phony tonight like singing to orphans.

Her older brother answered, I almost hung up right there. He scared the crap out of me he really did. He was a Marine and as big a guy I had never seen. He’d been to Whooton but before me. Yeah that’s right he went to Whooton and now he’s a Marine. How sucky is that? I’m not saying that people from private schools should all be lawyers and doctors or anything but to become canon fodder after years of crippling school fees must be sucky for his parents. I’m not into war and all that as I already told you, so I wouldn’t join the Marines. His mom makes out she’s all proud, god bless America and all that crap but I bet that she’s sad deep down. She collected food vouchers so she could send her first born away to have a head start in life and now he’s just a Marine. Just a Marine. I hope people wont say that about me but now that I’m kicked out of Pencey. I’ll probably end up just like him. He was a bastard as well. It would be all right if he was a Marine because he wanted to protect the people of America but he just wanted to carry a gun and beat people up. And he sure wasn’t too hot about me; he didn’t know why Monica liked me. He thought I thought about things too much. As if he’d know, he met me once for like 5 minutes.

"Is that Caulfield?"

"No, this is John West," I didn’t want him to know it was me for reasons I’ve already explained, so I read the name off a tin of tuna. I’m so stupid. "Is it possible to speak to Monica please?"

"I’ll get her."

At least someone in New York was home.

"John, oh my goodness, how the hell are you?"

"This isn’t,"

"I never thought you’d call! It’s so funny I was just looking at a photo of us from Camp; I always thought you must have lost my number. It’s been like six months, but heck I’m not complaining. John West, who’d a thought it!?"

Yeah John West, who’d a thought it? I make up a fake alias and it just happens to be some guy she used to go around with, stuff like this only happens to me.

"We just have to meet up!"

"I know, its been a while, how about tonight? Let me take you somewhere fancy,’" I’m a madman I swear.

"That sounds so amazing, I look forward to it very much." At this point she was just about to hang up the phone, without making the arrangements, this is what I meant about her being ditzy and all.

"Hold on, let’s make some arrangements. What time would you like to set it?’"

"Any time John, any time is fine by me."

"Well let’s meet at 6.30 for cocktails at Arnie’s."

"Cocktails it is. See you baby. Mwah."

So at 6.30 Monica was on a date but not with me.

I left the drugstore and went back outside, it sure was freezing now. I pulled down the flaps out of my hunting hat and sat back on the bench where I had started off. I thought about how I could make this whole Monica thing work to my advantage. I decided I should go to Arnie’s at about 5.30, Monica would arrive at about 6. I say about 6 but she would probably arrive dead on, she’s always an exact half hour early for dates. I don’t know why that is, but you could set your watch by it no kidding. I think she likes to have the first drink by herself, to calm herself as she’s so highly strung and all. She has no problem getting served on account of her chest, which I told you about earlier. So I would need to be there before she arrived, so it wouldn’t be too suspicious and then I could be all "Monica, who’d a thought I’d see you here?" And I’d be a gentleman and accompany her whilst she waited for her date, who’s actually a tin of tuna that never shows up, and when she feels stood up I console her and then we make out. Well that was the plan anyhow.

Comments [5]

"Discuss the nature of entrepreneurship under transition conditions: exploring regional and gender differences."

(download)

Every so often I want to go back to SSEES, lock the door behind me and live in the library forever. Then I remember that I like parties too much.

This paper was fun to write and is completely non-technical, so should you be the type of person that wants something to send them to sleep...I recommend it. Who knows, you may actually find it interesting.

I can't exactly lay my finger on what it was that made me love studying Eastern Europe so much, but it was probably the boys, they always wore lovely shoes and smelt nice.


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